Category Archives: Television in General

Viva Resistance!

My lazy butt finally watched the new episode of V just in time for tonight’s, and thankfully the show looks to be shaping up. Shaping up in that I wasn’t bored to death and shit actually happened! Good shit!

For one, Erica was attacked in her house by the lizard man who shot her friend, but she stabbed him and smashed his head with a frying pan. She then enlists the help of a terrorist in order to overthrow the V’s and lead a resistance. The V’s used their wacky futuristic technology to frame him for the warehouse explosion, so he’s kind of pissed about that. Oh, and Erica’s son Tyler is being brainwashed by Anna and her creepy blond daughter, because the daughter has some destiny to fulfill, and it probably involves Tyler’s nubile teen body.

Ryan, aka big black lizard renegade, is dealing with his girlfriend’s pregnancy. But the silly goose doesn’t know she’s pregnant with an ALIEN baby. So of course she finds it weird that at only six weeks she’s eating like a horse, feeling the baby kick, and has cravings for dead mice. Gross, yet awesome.

Anna is all pissy that Chad suggested the V’s were behind the warehouse explosion on the news, so she blackmails him with free health care into running a positive news story about the healing centers. And she also has his brain aneurysm cured, just like that. Anna also gets shit done by having weird ritual sex with the leader of her new army to take down the Fifth Column in order to give birth to warriors. Or something. In the end she bears some killer fangs and devours the poor guy who impregnated her. Yikes!

Best line of the night goes to Erica: “I don’t care whatt lines I cross in order to blast that bitch (Anna) out of the sky”

Pandora Out of The Box

Last night my living room experienced political upset in the form of Pandora’s elimination from RuPaul’s Drag Race. We have inevitably come to the portion of the competition where everyone is pretty awesome and whoever goes will be missed. Kind of. Over the past few weeks I have loved Tatiana and Raven. But lately Tatiana’s bratty charm has worn thin and her drag game has suffered. She should have been kicked off last week but for some reason she still remains to lip sync another day.

Raven on the other hand has been rocking it hard ever since she was in the bottom two twice in a row. Her hatred for Tatiana has gotten stronger with each week and it’s nothing short of great. She has quickly become my favorite with one exception: Jujubee. Jujubee is flat out the funniest one of the group and the drag persona is equally sassy and bitchy. Last night she looked her best with her shorter hair and giant zebra earrings, but sadly she chose some ugly short hair do for her drag mother and was placed in the bottom two. She lip synced, danced, and wowed the judges resulting in Pandora’s elimination and lots of tears. And I bet my bottom dollar either Jujubee or Raven wins the whole damn thing.

Oh yeah, and Tyra Sanchez still exists. Tyra falls under that category of awesome at what she does but is a terrible human being. I’m torn because she chooses great outfits and hair styles and has a lot of drag talent, but I just want that awful person off my screen pronto.

Flash-tastic

So I finally got around to watching the newest episode of Flashforward, and boy howdy has the show made some stellar improvements. Not only did they explain a crap load of questions and plot points, and have a soaring body count, but the writing has gotten better! Did y’all hear me, the writing has gotten better! The episode also featured Billy from Ally McBeal. I hated Billy and the character of the religious zealot he portrayed, but it was a cool sighting nonetheless. And I am now officially crushing on Dominic Monaghan, because he kicked all kinds of ass in the 2 hour premiere all while wearing a trench that I coveted throughout. I have some raised hopes for this show, but my hopes for V still remain in the gutter. We’ll find out Thursday, when those wacky lizard super models return.

Sordid Lives

I have been glued to my DVR, but what else is new? This week Logo ran a mini marathon of Sordid Lives: The Series, and let me tell you, it is the most white trash fun you’ll have outside of an episode of Tool Academy. I have to admit, I have never seen the series before this marathon and never got to watch the movie, but the plot was easy to catch up on and the laughs come fast and furious so I didn’t feel left out one bit.

Let’s run down the cast, it is a gay boy’s dream. We have Olivia Newton-John, Rue Mclanahan, Bonnie Bedelia, Caroline Rhea, and that short man who played Karen’s nemesis on Will & Grace. Every episode I watched was filled with boozing, pill popping, cigarette smoking, adultery, and hair teased within an inch of its life. These women in small town Texas really do live sordid lives! Especially sordid is how far from grace old Rue has fallen since her 80s television hay day, but thems the breaks.

Even though the show only last a few seasons, Sordid Lives: The Series needs to be experienced. The plotting and pace of the show may be uneven, and there are definitely a few story lines featured that could be nixed, it is always funny and outrageous. I pray to deity that Logo either airs more episodes soon or it’s somewhere to be found on DVD.

My Gossip Girl Wish List

Gossip Girl is finally back on Monday after what seems like a lifetime hiatus. So long in fact I barely remember where we left our spoiled Upper-East Siders. Oh yeah, Serena was ruining her life by screwing politicians and may have found her father. Lilly and Rufus found out the identity of their rock n roll love child and even met the kid, then everyone promptly forgot about him. Dan engaged in hideous three way sex with Hillary Duff and Vanessa. Thankfully H Duff is off, hopefully forever, and if there is a God Vanessa can go off into the sunset as well. Blair was whining about not being queen anymore, Jenny is dealing drugs, and Chuck’s mom may not really be dead. Nate is there somewhere, but he’s been off in his own bubble most of the time so who cares.

Sadly, the show this season has been uneven, if not still entertaining. I have complied my wish list for the rest of the season in hopes that I may not jump into the Hudson.

  • Stop the whole Dan loves Vanessa, she doesn’t love him, will they ever get together nonsense. Let Dan just be single for a while and focus on his bad poetry.
  • Chuck needs to be given more to do than just nap with Blair and buy and sell hotels. Sure, that stuff is cool, but where’s the bad ass scheming get shit done Chuck that we used to have?
  • Get Rufus a hair cut.
  • Blair can stay just the way she is. Except less bad wardrobe choices people.
  • Oh Serena. Where do I begin? I wish you wouldn’t have done everything you’ve already done this season, so how about doing the exact opposite of everything you would normally do from now on. It kinda worked for George Costanza.
  • No more guest stars or new characters. Hillary Duff was not good, bless her heart. The appearance by Tyra was lame, and sadly so was Lady Gaga’s appearance. None of that, just stick with the pretty rich kids we actually want to see.

Grab the tissues and text your mom, it’s Parenthood

Parenthood finally premiered this week on NBC, and forgive me sounding like Rachael Ray gushing about cider gravy, but I freaking loved it. I mean, how could Ron Howard take a cast like Peter Kraus and Lauren Graham and screw it up? The show is about four siblings and their varying stages of parenthood they are navigating. They laugh, fight, have family dinners, worry about children, and drink wine. It’s like Brothers & Sisters except with a more narrowed purpose. This show is good and needs to be watched, and a cast like this cannot go to waste.

The plot lines in the first episode set us up for all sorts of familial drams. Adam and Christina’s son Max is diagnosed with Asperger’s Syndrome by the educational psychologist and also with terminal cuteness by myself. Seriously, the kid has a curly mop of hair and big brown eyes. Not to mention he isn’t remotely annoying. Y’all, while I will shout my love of Peter Kraus from a mountain, I have always harbored a secret crush on Monica Potter. This is for reasons I cannot explain, but that is life.

Sarah and her two rebellious hellions move back in with the grandparents because mom is out of money after divorcing her drug addicted rocker ex-husband. The daughter is arrested with her cousin for weed possession, but they live in freaking Berkley, so is it that big of a deal? The son gets emo and runs off to Fresno because living with a drug addicted parent is better than nothing. Sara goes on a blind date with that dude who was on Yes, Dear and gets busted trying to get nookie in the family room. Oh sweet lord, how unbelievably good it is for Lauren Graham, or forever as Lorelai Gilmore, to be back on television. And of course she does an awesome job and still looks hot as hell. Props.

Those two siblings were the most interesting so I’ll be brief in this next part. Dax Sheppard plays another sibling, named Crosby, and both of those facts make me cringe. Another thing that is cringe worthy is him finding frozen sperm in his idiot girlfriend’s freezer, because she is 34 and wants a baby, darn it! Crosby (ahh what a stupid name) promises to kind of maybe marry his crazy sperm hoarding girlfriend instead of running for the hills like he should. But wait, there’s more! A dancer from his sexy past shows up and surprise surprise, they have a bam chicka wow wow love child together. Looks like he’s gonna have to get over his fear of commitment and fatherhood quick! Oh, irony, how nice of you to join us.

Erika Christensen, who I last saw in Swim Fan, is the last sibling, Julia, and honestly I didn’t get that she was related until like, the end of the episode. Julia is a hard working lawyer lady who is so busy she can’t see her daughter and as a result is shunned from reading her child bedtime stories or cutting her meat. Dirty. Her husband Joel is a nice man, good father, and loves ping pong, as does everyone else in the family. Maybe it’s a West coast thing, who knows.

And there’s Craig T. Nelson and the mother somewhere in the mix, but all we learn about them is that dad is pushy, mom is probably a hippie, and there’s a secret stash of condoms in dad’s office. All I’m saying is if he’s cheating, at least he’s wearing a condom.

Return Dates- Flashforward and V

February is half over, and we are inching ever so closely to the return of two more shows that have been in hiatus so long I can hardly remember where we left off!

Flashforward– Returns March 18. No doubt we will be treated to more red herrings and sequences about what happened during the blackout and how the future will play out is gonna be dragged on to hell and back. Hopefully the writing has gotten better, that’s all I have to say.

V– Returns March 30. This show better get its shit together and end the season with a bang because so far this alien invasion tale has been slow moving and boring. Time to bring it, show!