Category Archives: Musically Inclined

Telephone

A unicorn had sex with Jesus, resulting in the Lady Gaga featuring Beyonce music video for “Telephone.” I could go on and on about how much I love this video, but I’ll say two words: Pussy wagon.

The Singing Bee

Happy belated President’s Day, y’all! If you were like me and snowed in, you probably had some wine, cheese, and DVR filled to the brim with all of the marathon offerings that television had to offer. I personally stocked up on Project Runway, Intervention, Hoarders, and House Hunters International. The decision to skip the sobfest that is The Secret Life of the American Teen was not a tough one either. But I have to admit, my favorite show to watch for hours yesterday has to be The Singing Bee.

I personally hate most forms of country music, but The Singing Bee, despite being on CMT, is so much more. Sure, the majority of the music sang on that show is of country fried persuasion, but there are some pop tunes thrown in to appease those of us who cannot relate to drinking moonshine or owning a pick up truck. That is why the show is so approachable, because it features out all sorts of music, both new and classic, for contestants to sing in a variety of ways. The in house band that plays and sings all of the music for the show is pretty good, and the singers feature some very pretty vocalists. Swoon.

The host is Melissa Peterman, a bouncy blond chick who makes a lot of wise-cracks, and most of them fall flat with the audience. She does a decent job with her duties, but most of the time her comments aren’t funny or feel awkward. But she is nice so we’ll let that slide. Contestants are chosen from the audience during the opening credits by the host herself.  Not surprisingly a lot of the people who play for the grand prize can actually sing it very well, and as always there are those who sound like a cat caught in the dishwasher.

Most importantly, the show is a lot of fun. People singing and dancing, trying to win cash. What more could you want? And the format for each episode never changes, and a winner is determined each time so the competition doesn’t have to roll over to the next new episode. Remember when FOX had Don’t Forget The Lyrics, and how annoying and laborious that it was? Well this show is the more fun and carefree version of that show. So if you like mindless competition that is a lot of fun, check out The Singing Bee, and don’t be surprised if you find yourself singing along in your living room.

Grammy Whammy

The Grammys are on now, y’all. Zach Brown Band just won for best new artist and I want to throw my television set out of the window. Who the hell really cares, we all watch for the fashion anyway. Soldier on, awards show.

Lady Gaga On Oprah

Lady Gaga is going to be on Oprah this Friday! Maybe she’ll sing, maybe she’ll dance, but she’ll definitely wear some ridiculous outfit. I just hope she doesn’t wear any stupid head gear like she did when she visited Ellen a while back.

Sing It.

NBC doesn’t have massively popular shows like American Idol or Glee, so of course they had to cobble together their own twisted version of both into a reality singing contest that fills the void of mid-December television. Last year they did it with some stupid church choir contest, and this year they have fashioned The Sing-Off, a week long singing competition to find out who the best damn a-Capella band in the land is. What follows is a bunch of people in dorky show choir costumes vying for a title no one cares about. It really just makes me wish America’s Best Dance Crew would come back right now. The sets are practically identical.

My interest in the show doesn’t lie with the singing groups, because honestly, I don’t give a damn. However, the celebs they’ve assembled to participate in this show are fun enough. Since it is a rule that all of these shows feature an ex-boy band member in some capacity, the host is Nick Lachey. He looks nice and beefy in his suits, and can hold a mic without shaking so he fulfills the duty of host well enough. But Mario Lopez he ain’t.

But I full on squealed like a Twilight tween looking at Pete Wentz’s naked Sidekick pictures when I saw Ben Folds at the judge’s table. Personally, I love Ben Folds so much. I’ve seen him in concert a few times and even met him, got an autograph and pictures with him, and saw his two adorable little children and his wife with the funny name. And the guy just released a college a-Capella album covering his most popular songs, so obviously he is a good choice to judge. My favorite was when he told the Mormon group from Brigam Young to cuss more.

Nicole Scherzinger, lead singer and pretty much the only member of the Pussy Cat Dolls, is this competition’s Paula Abdul. But since Paula is off Idol, Natalie is now this show’s Kara. Or Ellen. Whatever, point is Nicole is young, hot, and offers hollow praise and pointless advice, much in the vein of Paula. And since she is young and hot, we are going to listen to her. I could look at her all day to be honest. Thank God she doesn’t dress like a Harlem prostitute like Lil Mama does.

The third judge is Shawn Stockman of Boyz II Men. Wow, another ex-boy band member. There he is. I really don’t have much opinion on Boyz II Men, so yeah. I hope he took his paycheck and bought himself something nice.

The Sing-Off may suck, but it’s only a week long, NBC needs ratings, and it’s a safe choice to watch if you’re in the company of the elderly.

No Kiss for You

So everyone is making a huge freaking deal about Barbara Walters showing Lady Gaga’s girl on girl kiss and not Adam Lambert’s guy on guy kiss during her 10 people of 2009 special. Personally, I have no problem. This is probably because of my sheer disdain for Glambert and my ever growing love for Gaga. Some are up in arms because they claim the network’s action was anti-gay, but really, maybe the network is just anti-fame whore. I would rather see Gaga read the phone book than Adam Lambert do anything. So whatever, this is a stupid issue and needs to be forgotten. Adam Lambert isn’t going anywhere and just because they didn’t show him kissing that ugly bald dude doesn’t mean we can’t still watch it on YouTube.

Muppet Rhapsody

The Muppets rule, and below is the most recent example of how awesome they are.