Wormy

The weather in Columbus this week has vastly improved from the snowy hell we’ve been enduring since January. Temperatures are climbing the mid-fifties, the sky is blue, sun is shining, and snow is melting. Being a white person, I of course busted out the flip flops as soon as conditions bettered. But one thing I neglected to consider about this glorious weather was the rain that would soon follow. And with the rain comes the worms. I have always hated worms, but this year my hate has become a full on phobia.

My first encounter was walking to my car after work last week. It was dark, had rained that day, and I of course was wearing flip flops. I happened to look down and in the shadows on the sidewalk I saw the horrible creatures. Different sizes, some wriggling around, and all that was separating them from my bare feet was a thin piece of rubber. I wanted to sprint to the car, but for fear of stepping on one, I walked cautiously, which only prolonged my agony. I also had to keep looking down so avoid them, meaning I saw every single one. I finally got to my car and hyperventilated.

A couple of nights ago I saw the nasty things again, this time I was walking to the beverage mart a few blocks from my apartment, once again wearing sandals. And once again I felt Indiana Jones in the snake pit. What’s worse about the worms is that in the shadows, everything looks like one, and the only way to tell the difference between a worm and a stick is to note which one moves. Very nauseating. Next time I’ll ride my bike to beverage mart.

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