Gossip Girl is finally back on Monday after what seems like a lifetime hiatus. So long in fact I barely remember where we left our spoiled Upper-East Siders. Oh yeah, Serena was ruining her life by screwing politicians and may have found her father. Lilly and Rufus found out the identity of their rock n roll love child and even met the kid, then everyone promptly forgot about him. Dan engaged in hideous three way sex with Hillary Duff and Vanessa. Thankfully H Duff is off, hopefully forever, and if there is a God Vanessa can go off into the sunset as well. Blair was whining about not being queen anymore, Jenny is dealing drugs, and Chuck’s mom may not really be dead. Nate is there somewhere, but he’s been off in his own bubble most of the time so who cares.
Sadly, the show this season has been uneven, if not still entertaining. I have complied my wish list for the rest of the season in hopes that I may not jump into the Hudson.
- Stop the whole Dan loves Vanessa, she doesn’t love him, will they ever get together nonsense. Let Dan just be single for a while and focus on his bad poetry.
- Chuck needs to be given more to do than just nap with Blair and buy and sell hotels. Sure, that stuff is cool, but where’s the bad ass scheming get shit done Chuck that we used to have?
- Get Rufus a hair cut.
- Blair can stay just the way she is. Except less bad wardrobe choices people.
- Oh Serena. Where do I begin? I wish you wouldn’t have done everything you’ve already done this season, so how about doing the exact opposite of everything you would normally do from now on. It kinda worked for George Costanza.
- No more guest stars or new characters. Hillary Duff was not good, bless her heart. The appearance by Tyra was lame, and sadly so was Lady Gaga’s appearance. None of that, just stick with the pretty rich kids we actually want to see.