Tag Archives: Emily

STFU, Ty

This week on the Real World: D.C. it seemed to be all about Ty, and how he is a giant, massive, awful tool of a human being. And it’s okay for him to say terrible, insulting things to the girls in the house because as he puts it, he’s never had roommates and has always hung out with macho male assholes, thereby freeing him of any semblance of proper human interaction skills. At least, that was his excuse for saying Callie was too fat to pose in Playboy magazine.

If I was ever on the fence about Ty, this incident pushed me firmly onto the hate forever side. Callie is a beautiful girl, super sweet, and obviously she has some image issues. So for Ty to say outright to her face that she is fat and then to try and justify it is disgusting. The girls all rally up and eventually boost Callie’s spirits and then tear Ty a new one. Both of these things are glorious, but the episode ends with Callie crying on the phone to her mother about her problems in the house, and then she tells of Ty for being a prick. Amen! Why Emily is still snuggling and flirting with Ty after this is beyond me, but all I can say is that the girl must be hard up for ass. Life, liberty, and the pursuit of hook ups!

The Real House of Love

It’s only the second episode of The Real World: D.C. and already those crazy kids in the house have paired up and few have started shacking up.  Some shacks are made of straw, others of wobbly wood, and others are built of dark chocolate.The only thing they’ve done so far is meet, go out clubbing, and grope all over each other. No wonder.

Andrew + Callie= <3

The super annoying Andrew has made it his mission to lay the surprisingly likable Callie and thankfully this is not achieved. Not even his animal hats or stupid blue glasses can help winher over so he of course goes and brings back a blond skank to make out with in the hot tub. This is all cock blocked by the girls in the house, and a blue balled Andrew is pissy at breakfast. Callie is now weary of him and now he’s gonna back off. For now. Muahaha.

TY+EMILY 4EVA

These two try and stop the forbidden passion but it is slowly revealed through naked chases, grinding, and jealousy. She is being a cuddle tease but eventually his bravado wins him some snuggling.  I actually like these two, but hate Emily’s bitch sister. Ty was less angry and opinionated this week which equals less of me beating the remote against my coffee table.

ASHLEY AND MIKE+THE NEW FRIEND

Ashley and Mike kiss, but is concerned because he kisses boys. Ashley is then upset because she assumes everyone thinks she’s in love with a gay guy. Oops, I’m sorry, he’s bi. In the end Mike brings home Robbie (“Mike’s New Friend”) from a club and no one really cares. I dislike Mike more and more. Ashley is fine as long as she’s not talking to Ty plus she looks like a poor man’s Nikki Reed.

JOSH N ERICA

These two didn’t do anything. Josh also brought someone home but no one cared. And Erica got into a semi-fight with Andrew’s hook up but it was lame. Sigh, I expected more from these two. So much wasted sexual tension. It should also be noted I highly disapprove of Josh’s wearing of guyliner.

Next week in the hook up house, sexual tension mounts and it can be assumed they will continue clubbing, grinding, and cuddling. God bless America!