Out of The Family

I just read on EW.com that Rob Lowe is leaving Brothers & Sisters after the season wraps up in May because he thinks he is being underused on the show. Whatever bro, just be thankful you’re getting a paycheck after you tried forcing Lion’s Den down our throats. Also floating around the interkips is news that Calista Flockhart will only be in 13 of next season’s 22 episodes. God this show loves being self destructive. So how is this gonna happen? They had their chance to kill off The Senator last season with his heart attack and Kitty magically beat cancer in all of five minutes… However it works out, there’s gonna be a lot less people to yell at at the next Walker family dinner party.

Scientific Method

Kitty doesn’t have cancer anymore, therefore she was hardly on Brothers & Sisters this week. What we did get was Sarah picking up single dads at her daughter’s science fair, Paige acting like a horrible brat to everyone, and Kevin and Scotty duking it out to see who has the strongest swimmers. This whole baby storyline really just makes me hate Kevin more and more each week. Scotty deserves to be with some who has better bone structure and doesn’t rock the Cabbage Patch hairstyle. In the end they decide to mix their sperm up and shake out one baby. Hopefully the kid looks more like Scotty. And acts more like Scotty.

Justin and Rebecka still haven’t gotten married and Justin is failing out of med school and is back to treating Rebecka like shit. But it turns out he may have a learning disability so he gets a pass for his rude behavior. Good thing he went to that science fair!

You know who isn’t getting a get out of jail free card? Ryan. Holly is out for blood and doesn’t give a shit that he saved Kitty’s life. Saul on the other hand is acting fresh as a daisy and thinks that Ryan should be let off the hook. I’m on Holly’s side completely. Yeah he saved Kitty, but he also pretty much ruined the business’s chance of making some much needed money with the new wine venture. I say nail his greasy haired ass to the wall, Holly!

Finally, Norah gets screwed over again by a man. Turns out Simon just goes around bilking old rich women of their money by making up fake charities and business opportunities. Thankfully Norah doesn’t lose any of her money and beats Simon at his own game in an awesome scene wherein she reveals to him that she knows all about his little philandering ways and his ass hauled to jail. Go, Norah! But I just wish that the writers would let her find a man that won’t screw her over time and time again. This woman has a horrible dating track record, but at least she got some shower sex.

Kitty Is Fine, Y’all

Kitty beat cancer y’all! All in one episode she went from death’s door to getting pumped full of asshole Ryan’s bone marrow. Hopefully his saving Kitty’s life doesn’t absolve him from screwing over the family business. I found it odd how in the beginning of the episode the whole brood was sitting around the hospital lobby acting as if Kitty had stubbed her toe, leaving Norah to take on all the pain and anguish. But of course, even if the kids were acting sad, Norah would still be the saddest of them all.

The episode as a whole was a total tear-jerker. If someone wasn’t crying, someone else was. And the scene with Kitty, Robert, and Evan? Pass me a month’s worth of tissues, please. There was also some stupid side plot that involved Kitty having love letters from an affair she had right out of college, but who cares, her shoe collection is insane! Justin and Rebeca still aren’t married, and that is fine with me.

See You Next Year

And winter hiatus claims two more shows.

On Brothers & Sisters, a hurricane has the nerve to infiltrate Rebeca’s Hawaiian wedding dreams, so after some familial drama and the wedding being called off (psych!), Justin gets his shit together, Norah is scammed by Dr. Shower Sex, and Tommy kidnaps his daughter and is a haggard hot mess. The Walker clan gather on the beach to trap another victim into their wacky web, but Kitty gets sick, dizzy, then passes out and stops breathing during the ceremony. Like they’d kill off Kitty. But Justin and Rebeca don’t end up saying the I do’s, so I guess Kitty’s tumors hate Rebeca as much as I do.

Desperate Housewives is also dangling the carrot of death in our faces. On the mystery front, Danny Bolen never wears jeans and Angie might be a terrorist. Lynette and Gabby are still fighting and Lynette is probably going to miscarry from all the boiling hot rage she’s exuding. Sad. Catherine officially went off the rails on a crazy train, which is saying a lot since the woman STABBED HERSELF LAST WEEK. Susan comes to her side, but in the end it’s Dylan who has mama thrown in the crazy house. It’s all very emotional, having family committed, but at least Catherine is hopefully gone for a while. Orson bows out of the marriage, but he finds out Carl was Bree’s lover so the two have a battle royal in Santa’s workshop. Before someone is arrested for murder, a plane crashes onto the lane, causing death and destruction. Happy Holidays!

Grab Your Umbrella

It’s a shit storm! And also, a pretty good episode. Even though Tommy returned, he was gone just as quick, and we were treated to some good old fashioned Walker family phone trees and a family dinner full of shouting. Well Tommy came back, and yup, all that time in the new age convent was wasted on him. But he sure does look great, given all the yoga and vegan food. Who cares that he hasn’t talked to his wife or kid in months, isn’t putting up a fight against an impending divorce, or treats Norah like crap?

Speaking of Norah, he also gives her one hell of a guilt trip. Somehow she blames all of his awful behavior on the fact that she had an easy time raising him and let William take it from there, passing on his lying, cheating traits to Tommy.  Well, that kind of makes sense, but Norah shouldn’t blame herself too harshly. All of her children ended up screwy, even the ones that she fought with and obsessed over. So don’t take it too personally, Norah. In the end, after Tommy yells and acts like a grade A ass, he talks with Kitty a lot then wises up and decides to go be there for his wife and daughter in Seattle, but doesn’t even give his own mother a goodbye hug. Jerk.

That was pretty much the bulk of the episode. Scotty and Kevin continue to butt heads over every detail surrounding the surrogacy, but in the end Kevin sweetly wises up and meets Scotty halfway, and now they have party girl birthin’ their baby. Sarah continues to have her love affair with Frenchie and her children are hip to the game, even going so far as suggesting that he stay in their spare bedroom. How cute! Rebecka and Justin were pretty much non existent, and the Senator is nowhere to be seen. Ryan is sneaking around being dubious, and Holly turns down a pricey offer for her share of Ojai. Good move Holly, and don’t worry, I’ll buy your cheap juice wine mixture.

The Asshole Returneth

Well, the day we all feared is finally upon us. Next Sunday douche bag in chief Tommy returns to Brothers & Sisters. And I guess his soul searching in Mexico was all a waste of time. From the looks of things there are surprises, a big family dinner, Tommy acts like the usual ass hat that he is, tells off Nora, and Nora cries because he sucks. I really hope she once again hauls off and smacks the crap out of him. So despite the happy feelings I got from this week’s very good episode, I’m fully prepared to throw objects at my television next week.

Sunday Night! Sunday Night!

Tonight on television, y’all need to be tuned in to ABC for your weekly fix of crack-cocaine, served up in the form of Desperate Housewives and Brothers & Sisters.

On DH, Lynette enjoys attention because of her massive pregnancy breasts.  Damn Felicity Huffman is beautiful, and William H Macy better worship her. Elsewhere on the block, stupid John is back to date Gaby’s niece and then smooch on Gaby.  The promo monkeys are leading us to believe Carlos catches them in a lip lock, but he could just as well be gasping at his first glance of the new set of twins Lynette is sporting.

Sara will finally be back on B&S, but the episode looks like it’s gonna be all sunshine and rainbows.  Sara frolics around in France and has a steamy foreign affair.  Kitty and Robert are shacked up in Norah’s, and cancer? What cancer? At least Sarah is back and we better get to see her reaction to Kitty’s news or I’m gonna choke Berlanti myself. Expect Rebecka to be screechy and annoying and Norah to be wacky and cook lots of yummy food.

Welcome to the Fold

Rachel Griffiths returned to Brothers & Sisters last night in like, the very last minute. Apparently she gave birth in real life and hopefully didn’t name the kid something as wacky as Banjo. It has also been reported on various internet sources that pregnancy had made Rachel much nicer on set, which makes sense because even though I love the hell out of her, she kind of looks like a bitch in real life. But what can you do? Congratulations and welcome back, Rachel, now hug Kitty and make the cancer go away.

Damn You, Brothers & Sisters

Or should I say, damn you, Berlanti? Last night on Brothers & Sisters we learned that Kitty has lymphoma, which means cancer.  That’s right, she has cancer.  And in my quest to remain spoiler free, I really am unsure as to whether or not they would go ahead and kill her off.

Maybe it’s the Cabernet talking, but I kind of like Kitty.  More to the point, I love Calista Flockhart. Sure her death would bring all sorts of drama and angst among the Walker family, but do we really need to see another character on television die of cancer to prove the point that it is a horrible, deadly disease? Sure, Queer As Folk was killing off characters left and right to drive home the message AIDS is bad, but come one, people.  This is ABC! It’s Brothers & Sisters! I don’t want to see my favorite fake family die off.  Unless it is Tommy.  I have no problem with him being swallowed up by an earthquake.

But, shows have done it before.  Grey’s Anatomy just offed George and gave Izzie cancer, and The L Word did itself in by killing off Dana with breast cancer in season 3.  So, obviously dramas aren’t above going that extra mile to give us hard hitting story lines.  I’m not saying that people shouldn’t die on shows, but is it really the only way to get a rise out of viewers? What about a story that shows the other side, like people overcoming disease and living long, healthy, sexy lives? Plus, if Vanessa is still alive on Gossip Girl and Kitty dies, is there any justice left in the television universe?